Ironing My Goldfish

I love silly songs and this is one I grew up listening to. Listen and sing along! By the way, see if you can spot the fishy puns!

Ironing my goldfish - The Goodies
Lyrics: sung by Tim 

 

Oh oh oh, how I wish, I could buy myself a pet flat fish

But no one wants to sell their sole

A flounder or halibut would be very pally, but

You hardly ever see a skate, that hasn't been mashed on a plate

And so, I'm … ironing my goldfish, ironing my goldfish

A big steam iron on his face, I'll keep on trying 'til I get some plaice

Oh I'm ironing my goldfish, smoothing out his surplus fat

I know it's rather cruel but it's oh such fun

Ironing my goldfish flat, hey hey, ironing my goldfish flat

I tried to use a rolling pin, he only came out long and thin

Then I thought if he was squeezed beneath

A small elephant a day, he'd look like a manta ray

But I couldn't make my goldfish squash, 'til I put him in with the wash

And now, I'm … ironing my goldfish, ironing my goldfish

And now he's like a tobacco leaf, I wear him in my pocket like a handkerchief

Oh ironing my goldfish, I use him as a table mat

I know it's rather cruel but it's oh such fun

Ironing my goldfish flat, hey hey, ironing my goldfish flat

He's rather like a turbot with the shiny nose

Ironing my goldfish flat … and that's that!  [splat!]