I'm Still Looking Up...

I Won't Give Up - Jason Mraz

Hmmmm ... Hmmmm ... Hmmmm ... Hmmm ...

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not
And who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Still looking up.

I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

The Ugly Duckling

In a recent process of moving house, I found some interesting odds and ends. A small key strangely labelled ‘A’. A piece of brown plastic moulding with a magnetic strip. A tiny metal spring. A single ear stud.  None of which looked familiar to me.

My first instinct is to try and figure out where these came from. I think of all the possible likely places and start from there. But nothing works. I ask around but except for the strangely labelled key, the items are unclaimed. Having done what I can, I decide to throw them away - it is no real loss. But I hesitate and hold on to a couple of them...just in case.

And then suddenly, when you’re immersed in something totally unrelated, the very piece you thought had no value is the very piece you are in need of. Like in this case. I am rearranging my books when I discover the wooden door on my bookcase will not close properly because it is missing... a piece of plastic moulding with a magnetic strip!! I quickly retrieve it and what do you know! It fits snugly and perfectly! It’s the piece that keeps the door clicked firmly in place. How happy I am that I have solved the puzzle of the piece that didn’t fit anywhere! And how thankful I am that I didn’t throw it away!  I had held on to it because I believed that someday I would discover its purpose.  And now a seemingly useless object had become a useful one.But until that fateful moment, it lay in my hands; helpless and homeless.

At times I feel like this. I feel awkward and out of place. I try but I don’t seem to fit in. I move with the crowd but no one seems to understand me. They tolerate me for a while but move on when they realize we have nothing in common. My questions and concerns rub off on people the wrong way. Sometimes I am labelled ‘difficult ‘or ‘divisive’. Other times I am written off because I have ‘issues’. Well meaning people try to analyze me so that they can ‘fix’ my problem. But it appears I am not easy to ‘fix’. I defy all text book logic. Sooner or later, I fall into the category of the unnamed and unclaimed. But a couple of friends refuse to give up. They don’t try to fix me. They listen without judging. They don’t claim to know what my ‘problem’ is. They don’t try to stick me in a pigeon hole. They don’t attempt to modify my speech or behaviour. They are simply there – affirming me silently, faithfully. They know my true intrinsic worth will emerge once I discover my purpose. Until then they are content to let me be, and let God have His way.   

For it is the One who created me who knows the secret of my true identity. Where I come from and where I am meant to be. And He’s not telling just yet. Can I be content to know that it will happen at the appointed time and not a moment sooner? Can I be patiently trust in God’s wisdom and timing? As God puts my life in order, I can trust that the seemingly useless, crippling life experiences I have had to endure will start to make sense. Being the very training I need to be useful and effective for the destiny He has prepared for me. What makes me incongruous, irrelevant now is the very thing that makes me perfect for the task. When it comes – everything will fall in place, without human manipulation and effort. Like the fabled Ugly Duckling who became a Swan it will finally make sense – the confusion, the rejection, the alienation and betrayal. But all that will fade in the light of His revelation.

And in that moment - You will see....
- that I am not a freak of nature. I am the work of His Hands.