End of an era

The end of an era.

After having served the institutional church for 7 years 3 months, i have left it all - my position, my ministry, my fixed stipend, my wonderful students (and very possibly my credibility as a bible teacher!) to follow the ONE who loved me and gave His life for me.

i am so sick and tired of mediocre christianity. Weary of trying to please both God and the religious community. i learnt (the hard way) that you can't atttempt to do that without seriously damaging yourself emotionally and physically. It is my experience, that when you try to serve God under the yoke of an institution it can literally choke the life out of you!

If I try to make sense of the turmoil i have experienced as fulltime church worker, these past few years (and more intensely the past few months), this is what I discovered. Like Job, I have been wrestling to understand why the 'spirituality' that surrounds me is at odds with the God I personally encountered more than 20 years ago.

And what was worse is that i worked so hard to reconcile the two. Most unhelpful were distant relatives of Job's friends who constantly pitched their theories of God even though these proved inadequate and shallow. But who was i to disagree? In learning and experience they were more 'qualified' to expound on the theology of God and His ways.

But tell me, why is the God in my Bible more pure, more righteous, more just, more loving & compassionate than the god we serve in our religious insitutions? Why does this God i know forbid me to have any other gods beside Him. What kind of God takes everything you hold precious, leaving you empty handed? The jealous kind. The Old testament God who takes great pleasure in the aroma of roasting flesh on the sacrificial altar. He rips out even the seemingly harmless and innocent affections in your life.

Stripping you of every earthly security that has helped you sleep soundly at night. Stopping at nothing until He has the satisfaction of knowing that all of you belongs to Him - body and soul. Until the only thing keeping you sane and centered is the seed of His word that He sows carefully in the bloody soil of your heart. For nothing must stand in the way of your devotion to Him. Isn't that what it means to love God with all your heart, soul and strength?

Strange. How different from the god we worship on Sundays, don't you think?

I know something now that i did not know then. The ways of man are in complete opposition to the ways of God. Today the institution that calls itself 'church' is governed by man's rules not God's laws. But how can it be his Body that chooses to follow after 'visionaries' who preach a different gospel from the incarnated Christ?

Stop lying to yourself. Stop compromising the truth. Stop trying to reconcile the two. Its time to choose whom you will serve.

But what balm for my broken heart? My broken body? Only the words of Jesus bring healing.

Come to me, all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. - Matthew 11: 28-30

Gospels revisited - Part 1

Mark1:9-11
It came to pass in those days that Jesus came from Nazareth of Galilee, and was baptized by John in the Jordan. 10 And immediately, coming up from the water, He saw the heavens parting and the Spirit descending upon Him like a dove. 11 Then a voice came from heaven, “You are My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.”

Mark 9: 2-8
Now after six days Jesus took Peter, James, and John, and led them up on a high mountain apart by themselves; and He was transfigured before them. 3 His clothes became shining, exceedingly white, like snow, such as no launderer on earth can whiten them. 4 And Elijah appeared to them with Moses, and they were talking with Jesus. 5 Then Peter answered and said to Jesus, “Rabbi, it is good for us to be here; and let us make three tabernacles: one for You, one for Moses, and one for Elijah”— 6 because he did not know what to say, for they were greatly afraid.
7 And a cloud came and overshadowed them; and a voice came out of the cloud, saying, “This is My beloved Son. Hear Him!” 8 Suddenly, when they had looked around, they saw no one anymore, but only Jesus with themselves.
-The Bible (NKJV)

Twice God commends His Son. Under Jewish law, two witnesses are all that’s needed to establish a fact. Since God can only swear by Himself, He alone gives witness to His Chosen one. Not once but twice. And nowhere in the Bible, will we find God conferring similar praise to anyone apart from His Son.

The only man God ever endorsed was His Son.
The only ministry God ever endorsed was obedience to His Word.
The only method God ever endorsed was the way of the cross.

Guess what? Nothing's changed.

Why do we insist on an individual to mentor us? Forcing ourselves to fit into a ministry mould? Draining our brains trying to hit on the right strategy or method to carry out kingdom business?

What then should our response be? Read the gospels. Examine the claims Jesus made about Himself. Think about what He said (in particular what He didn't say).

Jesus never said, "I know a way"
Jesus never said, "I know of a truth"
Jesus never said, "I know about life"

He said "I AM THE WAY, THE TRUTH and THE LIFE. No one can come to the Father except through me".

The woman in ICU

A woman chronically ill occupies a bed in the Intensive Care Unit. A host of expert doctors have been assigned to her case. But none have succeeded in waking her from her deep sleep. They’ve studied her medical history from every angle and pored over ancient texts for answers. They’ve experimented with various theories and filled universities with their learning. They’ve run a battery of tests till there were no surfaces left on her person to probe or puncture. Still she lays there dead to the world, baffling the wisest of worldly men.

The search for a cure has spawned extensive research and endless intellectual debates all over the world. Experts have been consulted, books have been authored and conferences conducted to discuss the peculiarities of her case. She's even unwittingly lent her name to organizations who’ve dedicated their cause to her living memory. She is loved and supported by people she will never meet or know.

She has survived every groundbreaking discovery in the field of medical science. No expense has been spared. No stone left unturned. But to no avail. A machine now breathes for her.

Her tired caregivers have now turned their efforts to making her more presentable to her kind well-wishers. They've disguised her sickly pallor with a rosy blush, painted her shrunken eyelids with rainbow hues and tinted her blue lips, a brilliant red. A liberal splash of floral scents masks the presence of bed sores while a specially tailored garment keeps atrophying limbs out of sight.

Those who step into her exclusive quarters are greeted with a view of a sensuous woman dressed in designer silk, reclining on smooth satin sheets and supported by soft fluffy pillows. Soothing music plays in the background so visitors are not alarmed to her real condition. An IV supplies nourishment to her veins while an invisible catheter discretely disposes her wastes. Her doctors are ever ready in case of an emergency. Their professionalism and excellent bedside manner has everyone believing she couldn't be in better hands.

But her doctors know a secret. Their patient is only useful to them as long as she sleeps on in oblivion. Can you imagine the consequences if she woke up? Her condition has provided hundreds of jobs and kept their established centers of 'wellness' solvent and debt-free for years. In fact, in the event she expires, they have planned a fancy funeral and a cemetery plot on prime property where the public can pay to picnic while fondly recalling the once famous woman she used to be.

13 "From the least to the greatest,
all are greedy for gain;
prophets and priests alike,
all practice deceit.

14 They dress the wound of my people
as though it were not serious.
'Peace, peace,' they say,
when there is no peace.

(Jeremiah 6: 13-14, New International Version)

How will we answer Jesus when he asks what we have done with His Body, His Bride, His Church?

EVERYTHING - Tim Hughes

God in my living
There in my breathing
God in my waking
God in my sleeping

God in my resting
There in my working
God in my thinking
God in my speaking

Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything

God in my hoping
There in my dreaming
God in my watching
God in my waiting

God in my laughing
There in my weeping
God in my hurting
God in my healing

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me
the hope of glory
You are everything

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me
the hope of glory
Be my everything