Nearly famous

I googled my name the other day and discovered I am Russian born, a vocalist/pianist/songwriter with a number of noteworthy music awards to my name. My photo reveals that I am quite attractive - a youngish blonde with sultry good looks.

I also found my name on cemetery lists and family trees. It appears I expired in 1872, in 1908 and again in 1933 and was dearly missed after having lived a lifetime as somebody's daughter, wife or mother.

Honestly? The only thing i share in common with these people is my name.

So just who am I?

It's hard to say.

I have lived too long and too well to fit neatly into a single adjective or sentence. And still after so many years, the quintessential me is still emerging. Just when I think I have arrived, I find I have merely reached one of the many milestones in my life. In my humble opinion, my life is as ordinary as my looks and my achievements less than average. I know I have just described a large majority of the human population but do you know what ? I have yet to come across another me!

Like many people, I am still in the process of self-discovery - God's work in progress. Like an onion, I have shed many layers of self in agitation and tears. Knowing I am unconditionally loved by God has helped to ease much of the discomfort that comes with that painful process. In spite of all that I have been through, I can still say I have no regrets for choosing the straight and narrow path of walking with Jesus.

As simple and straightforward as I am, I find I am still somewhat an enigma of sorts to many people. Lately, I have had to accept that even the closest of friends haven't figured me out! So it looks like only God understands me and loves me as I am. Perhaps this is best...

I have tried to borrow words that may help to explain the person I have become.

Passionate - Because I have to connect emotionally with whatever or whoever I know.

Average - and proud of it!

Unequivocal - Its important to me that people say what they mean and mean what they say and I try hard to keep to that ideal. I really hate it when words are manipulated to use people or for personal gain.Curse words don't seem to have half the effect on me as untrue and flippant words do.

Love to Eat - What can I say? I can't apologize for being Malaysian! My friend calls me the Yellow pages when it comes to finding good food!I love to see people try my favourite foods and I love discovering new tastes too.

Inventive - Although I am a creature of habit, I do look for ways to break the monotony of routine and predictability. I must admit though, at times, I don't really look hard enough!I am such a couch potato, I can sit and watch the same movie even if I've seen it umpteen times!

Non-competitive - I dislike competition for a couple of reasons. It means someone has to lose. I hate that. Plus it's unnerving to be viewed as rival who must be eliminated. Having said that I am overcome with joy even a bit teary eyed at seeing someone win after they've worked so hard for it!

Teacher - I think the one quality that qualifies me to teach others is teachability! I am a little stupid, so when I make a discovery, I get all excited about it and I need to share! Consequently, I believe teaching is the process of aiding discovery! (I didn't come up with that one btw. Remember I'm just average!)

Humour - even this seemingly ordinary trait makes me different from others. Cause I love to laugh with people, not at them.

Genuinely happy for others - Strange but I must say, I can't remember being jealous and envious of others. I am genuinely happy for other people, my more successful siblings and friends. I have been overtaken many times in the race for success, recognition and reward but it does not seem to bother me. I guess the credit has to go to God. He's made me content with who I am and confident of the destiny He has for me.

Well, that's just a little bit about me.

I doubt all this would fit onto my tombstone so I have written it here!