I'm Still Looking Up...

I Won't Give Up - Jason Mraz

Hmmmm ... Hmmmm ... Hmmmm ... Hmmm ...

When I look into your eyes
It's like watching the night sky
Or a beautiful sunrise
There's so much they hold
And just like them old stars
I see that you've come so far
To be right where you are
How old is your soul?

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space
To do some navigating
I'll be here patiently waiting
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake
And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend
For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not
And who I am

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up
Still looking up.

I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)
God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)
We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)
God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

The Ugly Duckling

In a recent process of moving house, I found some interesting odds and ends. A small key strangely labelled ‘A’. A piece of brown plastic moulding with a magnetic strip. A tiny metal spring. A single ear stud.  None of which looked familiar to me.

My first instinct is to try and figure out where these came from. I think of all the possible likely places and start from there. But nothing works. I ask around but except for the strangely labelled key, the items are unclaimed. Having done what I can, I decide to throw them away - it is no real loss. But I hesitate and hold on to a couple of them...just in case.

And then suddenly, when you’re immersed in something totally unrelated, the very piece you thought had no value is the very piece you are in need of. Like in this case. I am rearranging my books when I discover the wooden door on my bookcase will not close properly because it is missing... a piece of plastic moulding with a magnetic strip!! I quickly retrieve it and what do you know! It fits snugly and perfectly! It’s the piece that keeps the door clicked firmly in place. How happy I am that I have solved the puzzle of the piece that didn’t fit anywhere! And how thankful I am that I didn’t throw it away!  I had held on to it because I believed that someday I would discover its purpose.  And now a seemingly useless object had become a useful one.But until that fateful moment, it lay in my hands; helpless and homeless.

At times I feel like this. I feel awkward and out of place. I try but I don’t seem to fit in. I move with the crowd but no one seems to understand me. They tolerate me for a while but move on when they realize we have nothing in common. My questions and concerns rub off on people the wrong way. Sometimes I am labelled ‘difficult ‘or ‘divisive’. Other times I am written off because I have ‘issues’. Well meaning people try to analyze me so that they can ‘fix’ my problem. But it appears I am not easy to ‘fix’. I defy all text book logic. Sooner or later, I fall into the category of the unnamed and unclaimed. But a couple of friends refuse to give up. They don’t try to fix me. They listen without judging. They don’t claim to know what my ‘problem’ is. They don’t try to stick me in a pigeon hole. They don’t attempt to modify my speech or behaviour. They are simply there – affirming me silently, faithfully. They know my true intrinsic worth will emerge once I discover my purpose. Until then they are content to let me be, and let God have His way.   

For it is the One who created me who knows the secret of my true identity. Where I come from and where I am meant to be. And He’s not telling just yet. Can I be content to know that it will happen at the appointed time and not a moment sooner? Can I be patiently trust in God’s wisdom and timing? As God puts my life in order, I can trust that the seemingly useless, crippling life experiences I have had to endure will start to make sense. Being the very training I need to be useful and effective for the destiny He has prepared for me. What makes me incongruous, irrelevant now is the very thing that makes me perfect for the task. When it comes – everything will fall in place, without human manipulation and effort. Like the fabled Ugly Duckling who became a Swan it will finally make sense – the confusion, the rejection, the alienation and betrayal. But all that will fade in the light of His revelation.

And in that moment - You will see....
- that I am not a freak of nature. I am the work of His Hands. 

Prisoner of God

What you are about to read is not for the faint of heart. Only a few will understand and even then struggle to accept it. But if you can recognize the slightest bit of yourself in it, remember that you were sought after, pursued, taken captive to be kept in remand for as long as He wishes for no clear reason apart from the fact that it pleases Him to do so.

You can spend your life trying to escape it, even endure it but as most of us have discovered that the best way to deal with it is to face it, make a total surrender to it; this peculiar call of all God's prisoners and embrace it as your eternal destiny - to bear the mark of one chosen by God.

Others May - But You Cannot

If God has called you to be really like Jesus in all your spirit, He will draw you into a life of crucifixion and humility, and put on you such demands of obedience that He will not allow you to follow other Christians, and in many ways He will seem to let other good people do things which He will not let you do.

Other Christians and ministers who seem very religious and useful may push themselves, pull wires, and work schemes to carry out their plans, but you cannot do it; and if you attempt it, you will meet with such failure and rebuke from the Lord as to make you sorely penitent.

Others can brag on themselves, on their work, on their success, on their writings, but the Holy Spirit will not allow you to do any such thing, and if you begin it He will lead you into some deep mortification that will make you despise yourself and all your good works.

Others will be allowed to succeed in making money, or having a legacy left to them, or in having luxuries, but it is likely that God will keep you poor, because He wants you to have something better than gold, and that is a helpless dependence on Him, that He may have the privilege of supplying your needs day by day out of an unseen treasury.

The Lord will let others be honored and put forward, and keep you hid away in obscurity, because He wants to produce some choice, fragrant fruit for His coming glory, which can only be produced in the shade.

He will let others be great, but keep you small. He will let others do a work for Him, and get the credit for it, but He will make you work and toil on without knowing how much you are doing; and then to make your work still more precious, He will let others get the credit for the work which you have done, and this will make your reward ten times greater when Jesus comes.

The Holy Spirit will put a strict watch over you, with a jealous love, and will rebuke you for little words and feeling or for wasting your time, which other Christians never seem distressed over. So make up your mind that God is an infinite Sovereign, and has a right to do as He pleases with His own, and He will not explain to you a thousand things which may puzzle your reason in His dealings with you.

He will take you at your word, and if you absolutely sell yourself to be His slave, He will wrap you up in a jealous love and let other people say and do many things that you cannot do or say. Settle it forever, that you are to deal directly with the Holy Spirit and that He is to have the privilege of tying your tongue, or chaining your hand, or closing your eyes in ways that He does not deal with others.

Now when you are so possessed with the living God that you are, in your secret heart, pleased and delighted over this peculiar, personal, private, jealous guardianship and management of the Holy Spirit over your life, you will have found the vestibule of heaven.

–– GD Watson 1845 - 1924

IF

If you know what you are able to accomplish
Yet realize the things you cannot do
If you can find a goal that you believe in
And understand what God expects of you
If you can always use your talents wisely
Remaining calm when everything goes wrong
And seek your goal with persevering courage
Relying on your faith to make you strong

If you can see the beauty that surrounds you
And wonder at the wisdom of God's love
If you can be a child for just a moment
While gazing at the stars that shine above
If you can be aware of human weakness
Yet criticize the thoughtlessness you've shown
And when your heart is breaking keep believing
That other hearts are sadder than your own

If you can disregard the faults of others
And love them for the good that they have done
If you can overlook your needs and troubles
And always try to help the other one
If you can light the way by your example
And offer understanding sympathy
Then you will have the joy that comes from knowing
You're the person God intended you to be!

- by Carolyn A. Herrmann

Quiet Lives of Profound Consequence - Wayne Jacobsen

They are all over the world. I've met them everywhere--men and women who have been seasoned with the joy of living loved and are capable in the simplest of conversations to encourage others along that journey as well.

You can sit in their homes and be at rest, knowing you are cared for--not because of what they want out of you, but simply because you are one of God's kids. They live quiet lives, neither pressed by their responsibilities. nor engaged in self-promotion or the advancement of their personal agenda. They do not manipulate others to get what they want. You never have to guess what they are thinking. They are honest with others, but gently so, and patient with those who struggle.

Click here to read more.....

The arrow of the Lord - Christine Beadsworth

 Isaiah 49:2

‘In the shadow of His hand has He hid me, and made me a polished arrow; in His quiver has He kept me close and concealed me’

There is a time of being hidden and polished and refined as an arrow for the Lord’s purpose and then there is a time when He takes the arrow out of His quiver and puts it in the bow. The time has come for the sending forth to the target. This is the purpose for which the arrow was made and makes worthwhile all the time of rubbing and scraping and hammering, polishing and sharpening. The preparation was with a goal in mind. This sense of destiny is what has given the arrow strength and endurance to endure the refining.

What a sense of exhilaration as, at last the arrow is removed from the darkness of the quiver and into the sunlight, held firmly in the Master’s grip; and oh, the excitement at finally being fit into the bow! All the prophesies and whisperings of the Lord in the night season seem at last to make sense in the light and the target is clearly in view.

Then suddenly the arrow experiences something strange. Instead of being moved forward in the direction of the target, it is pulled back in the opposite direction to its destiny. It seems as if everything is reversing, although it is still facing in the same direction. Questions and doubts begin to assail this polished arrow and the tension of the bow string behind it becomes almost unbearable. The arrow feels almost backed against a wall. It can feel the tight grip of God’s strong right hand but the direction things are taking make no sense at all. The target is still in sight but growing further away by the second. What the arrow doesn’t realize is that the incredible tension in the string has stored up a large amount of potential or stored energy. The reversal is absolutely necessary to put into place behind the arrow, the power to propel it at lightening speed to the center of its target; and while it feels itself going backwards, the eye of the Archer is adjusting His focus on the target and making minute adjustments, which will make an enormous difference to the position and depth the arrow penetrates. God is taking aim because He doesn’t intend to just graze the enemy’s cheek. He is striking a death-blow and accuracy is very important.

During this process, the arrow is not required to do anything but lie at rest in the position the archer’s hand has placed it.  The pressure within and without seems to be rising to almost unbearable intensity and still the arrow lies still facing the target. Then suddenly, when the string of the bow is a full extension and the arrow has been equipped with maximum power and accuracy of flight path, the archer lets go! And that arrow flies at incredible speed and sinks right into the center of its target. And the mission is accomplished!

So, to every arrow out there who has been through a long and painful preparation process – rest and trust as you feel everything going in the opposite direction to what God has promised. This is a vital part of your journey. Going backwards does not mean you have failed the Lord somehow and are headed for yet another season of refining and purifying. If you can see the target, you are in the bow and the archer has deemed you fit for flight. You have been made ready internally, shaped and formed by the Master’s hand. The time of the refiner’s fire making a weapon fit for its purpose is indeed over. However, without this time of reversal, increasing pressure from behind and the seemingly increasing distance from your target, you would not be equipped with the supernatural power necessary to cause you to fly straight and true to your destiny. The time of release is about to come.  When you are at the point of maximum pressure and furthest distance from the target, do not misinterpret what God is doing! The moment of the fulfillment of His promise is at hand – you lie on the threshold of experiencing all that the Archer whispered to you during the days of painful polishing and sharpening. You have not misunderstood your purpose or God’s intention – once placed in that bow, you are on your way and the process has indeed begun, whichever direction everything seems to be going in!! The moment of release is known only to the archer. No-one watching has any clue exactly when it will occur – but occur it will - with devastating precision and effect! And know this too - from the point of release, everything will happen at lightening speed! God is about to do a quick work, a grand finale if you will, a masterful blow that displays the wisdom behind the length of time and minute detail applied to the preparation of a straight sharp arrow to accomplish His purposes.

Be greatly encouraged and be at peace with the external tension and pressure! God is about to triumph gloriously.

Bitter Waters Made Sweet

 Exodus 15 : 22 - 26 ( New King James Version)

²² So Moses brought Israel from the Red Sea; then they went out into the Wilderness of Shur. And they went three days in the wilderness and found no water. ²³ Now when they came to Marah, they could not drink the waters of Marah, for they were bitter. Therefore the name of it was called Marah.^{[a] 24} And the people complained against Moses, saying, “What shall we drink?” ²⁵ So he cried out to the LORD, and the LORD showed him a tree. When he cast it into the waters, the waters were made sweet.

There He made a statute and an ordinance for them, and there He tested them, ²⁶ and said, “If you diligently heed the voice of the LORD your God and do what is right in His sight, give ear to His commandments and keep all His statutes, I will put none of the diseases on you which I have brought on the Egyptians. For I am the LORD who heals you.” 

This past two months, God has taken me on a trip down memory lane. Together we have  revisited important milestones in my past, stopping at altars I had built along the way as I journeyed with Him, inspecting stones of  remembrance I had put up to commemorate His promises to me. Promises He gave me 10 years ago so vivid as if just spoken yesterday! I am amazed at how He has kept His Word from falling to the ground, guiding me, reassuring me, directing me so that today I am exactly where He wants me to be. 

This scripture came to me in a prayer meeting one Friday in 2000. I remember clearly as God explained  to  me how that tree Moses cut down changed the destiny of a people who were weary and thirsty from their journey to the Land of Promise. Bitter waters that spelt death and curse transformed into life and blessing because of one solitary tree. It was the first time, I realized that God was calling me to leave the familiarity of a  beaten path to tread the unknown with Him. My life was not meant to be one where I would grow tall and strong  to provide shade to many travellers passing by but one where I had to be uprooted and tossed into an unfamiliar environment in which my identity ceased and became one with it. I didn't  fullly understand it then and I am not sure I fully understand it now. All I know is that God's Way is perfect and all I need to do is trust Him completely for the journey that lies ahead.        

Create in me a clean heart , O God

<sup>Psalm 52

10</sup> Create in me a pure heart, O God,
   and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence
   or take your Holy Spirit from me.
¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation
   and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

- David's prayer

Hunger

Sometimes, our hunger for human love and affection can be greater than our hunger for a slice of bread.

Feeling, Faith and Fact

This cute little postcard came to me when a relative passed down an old writing desk. She'd stuck it where she could see it and be reminded every day of the message it carries.  Since then, it has seen many coffee stains and creases, but it proved to be a lifesaver during the times when my faith was sorely tested. May it be a blessing to you too.

Feeling, Faith and Fact
Three friends went walking on a wall.
Feeling, Faith and Fact.

When Feeling had an awful fall
Which quite took Faith aback.

So close was Faith to Feeling,
Faith stumbled ere he knew.

But Fact remained and pulled Faith up
And Faith brought Feeling too.
                                                                                         - Author unknown

God wants to kill the leader in you (Part 2)

Would Jesus have made a good church leader today?

Many church leaders today are intelligent, gifted, persuasive and self-motivating individuals who believe they are doing a great service to the people in their charge. From the more menial tasks of preparing sermons, praying for the sick and the obligatory baptisms, marriages and funerals, leaders have now stepped into more challenging roles. Corporate savvy pastors are now applying key marketing strategies to influence the masses, infiltrate their community and introduce meaningful activities to engage and empower members. They supervise, strategize and sacrifice for the good of their institutions and members; doing whatever is necessary for the unity, health and effectiveness of their institutions, which often necessitates having members’ unquestioning loyalty, commitment and monetary support. They are perfectionists, striving to bring distinction and balance in all areas of their organization.

This may not seem like a bad thing but while church leaders are making themselves available to all and sundry, Jesus made Himself available only to His Father. Leaders focus on people’s needs but Jesus focused on His Father’s desire. Leaders are driven to enlarge their own churches but Jesus was zealous over His Father’s House. Leaders try to live up to people’s expectations, but Jesus lived for His Father’s pleasure alone. Leaders are driven to achieve many goals but Jesus was determined to fulfill His one purpose. Leaders lead but Jesus simply followed and obeyed His Father’s will.

There are no perfect leaders; only a Perfect Son.
Sad to say, many of today’s leaders think God has given them special license. They conduct their lives believing nothing can invalidate their status. God will close His eye to their sin because the mantle of leadership is upon them and it is their God-given destiny to lead the church. Immorality? No problem. Abuse of authority? No sweat. Integrity issues? No worries! God is there to restore and rebuild everything they destroy in the name of leadership! Besides, there is nothing a little time away and some counseling won’t cure!

It seems leaders are a necessary evil and if anyone dares to suggest otherwise, they are rebuked and told not to judge, not to have ‘unreasonable’ expectations. They rationalize that leaders are only human and therefore have (by default) a built in liability; that leaders are ultimately chosen by God and they are in charge whether we like it or not. And even if they sin, God knows what He is doing and everything will work out because it is God’s plan and purpose.

Heaven help us! If the church today could rewrite bible history, they would make Saul the hero of the Old Testament! Saul was Israel’s choice but God rejected Saul as King the very first time he disobeyed, and subsequently took the kingdom from him and gave it to David, a man after His own heart. David typifies Jesus, the Chosen One.

Who then can be a leader?
Firstly, it is a flawed theology that demands we appoint one to lead us. Second, there is no one more qualified to be our pastor (shepherd) than Jesus. Third, Jesus didn’t appoint any successors for his job.

Matthew 23: 8-10
Jesus told his listeners we are not to be called ‘master’ for we are all brothers under one Master.
Jesus said not to call anyone on earth, ‘father’ for we have one Father and He is in heaven. And we are not to be called ‘teacher’ for we have one Teacher who is the Christ.

Jesus’ words are still relevant to us today: One Father, One Flock, One Shepherd.
Your disappointment and disillusionment is real, not imagined. God does not appoint, approve or endorse ungodly leadership. God is grieved that many of His sheep are hurt and wounded from their irresponsible words and actions. He will not let this go more so because they have done this in His name. The good news is you don’t have to use the same useless arguments to justify submitting to them over and over again. There is a way out of this madness.

Stop blaming your leaders.
Listen, your pastor doesn’t need to be more organized or more equipped. He doesn’t need to be more pastoral or more prophetic. He doesn’t even need to be more like Jesus.

Stop depending on them.
You don’t need a pastor to tell you what to do, where to go or how to serve. You don’t need him to pray, prophesy or provide a solution for you. You don’t need his pastoral care or covering. Don’t be expecting any financial or ministerial support either.

Start looking to Jesus.
Jesus is the only pastor you will ever need. You have His Father’s Word for it! Read Psalm 23 and meditate on its timeless message (It’s not just for Sunday School kids, you know). It will give you a preview of what it’s like to have the Lord Jesus personally disciple you.

Be a disciple of Jesus.
Follow in His footsteps. Carry the cross. Learn of Him. Listen to Him. Obey Him. Do this on a daily basis and persevere on that path,

Even if it leads you to Calvary, the place of execution.
Death to ‘Self’ is inevitable. You have heard that power corrupts, but the cross will crucify you. It will decrease you to nothing, until Christ alone has preeminence in your life. Self sufficiency will be your fiercest adversary. Say goodbye to your plans and ambitions. Forget name and fame. Bid adieu to close friends and family. Jesus said, "Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

Obedience - the great equalizer.
Churches often drive the message that some are called to lead while others are meant to serve. There is no such discrimination in God’s Kingdom. It doesn’t matter what kind of personality strengths and weaknesses you possess. God is not looking for leaders.; He's not impressed with our leadership skills. He is looking for disciples. Jesus said, "You are my disciples if you obey my commandments. " It is our obedience; choosing Him above everything the world offers that invites God's pleasure. In God's Kingdom, obedience to His Word is key. It’s what separates the sheep from the goats. It’s what separates the Sauls from the Davids.

Jesus’ obedience to God qualified Him to be the author of man’s salvation (Hebrews 5: 8). Your obedience may not seem like very much to other people but it will reap eternal rewards. Jesus said, "Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain." To see God's Kingdom come, the flesh or 'Self' must give way to the Spirit. Until then, we cannot expect to see its power and potential come alive.

A good leader is a dead leader.
Perhaps, you are a leader or aspiring to be one. All you want to do is serve the Lord and take care of His sheep. Then let me say, humility and obedience is the path to choose in order to fulfill your destiny. Because the only effective leader is a 'dead' one. Do not fear the cross but embrace it wholeheartedly. Only when we say, "No" to our goals and aspirations, only when 'Self' gets out of the way, can the Spirit take over and do what He does best! It is in losing our life, we find our true purpose and destiny.

My personal thoughts
Perhaps, your pastor or leaders are nothing like how I described them. Good for you but understand this; they are the exception not the norm. Church leaders today are so different from the Jesus I have described. Church theology, traditions and practices have evolved to something so alien to what Jesus taught His disciples. But if you are like the majority of church goers today, this will not bother you very much. You are quite content with the status quo; lively and vibrant worship, warm welcoming fellowship, people-pleasing leaders and endless ministry opportunities. But beware because we will not be judged by how well we ‘played church’ but whether we followed Christ until the end.

On the other hand, if you are a Jesus freak then what is acceptable to the majority will grate on your nerves continually. You will hate the cowardice of compromise and the careless disregard for God’s truth. You will grieve over the ungodliness of celebrated leaders. Your heart will sicken when you hear the gospel you love so much, watered down until it is insipid and useless in its application. You will cringe when people are honored and applauded for imitating the world.

Or perhaps, you have already seen all you can take and are now praying for a change in leadership. You are holding out for a better leader – a man (or woman) who will reform and restore the church to its former glory.

Let me ask you - “How will God give us someone better when He has already given us His Best?” Do you expect God to send Jesus again because we didn’t get it the first time?

At some point in your life, you will have to ask yourself, "Is being obedient to God's Word alone enough?" "Is following Christ alone enough?". "Is the threat of obscurity, loneliness, persecution and ridicule going to keep me from following in the footsteps of my Lord?

Only you know the answer.

Beautiful

When my actions are misunderstood,
and my words are misconstrued.
When my love is unrequited,
and people accuse me of unkindness
When the past and present stand in judgment
and I feel unloved and unlovable all at the same time.
When I no longer like the person in the mirror,
but I don't know what to do with myself

God surprises me with His exquisite beauty,
captivates me again with his unchanging love
He is beautiful and that's all that matters.






Kari Jobe's 'Beautiful'

Here, before Your altar,
I am letting go of all I've held
of every motive, every burden,
everything that's of myself.
and I just wanna wait on You my God
I just wanna dwell on who You are.

beautiful, beautiful oh I am lost for more to say
beautiful, beautiful oh Lord, You're beautiful to me

oh beautiful

here in Your presence,
I am not afraid of brokenness
to wash Your feet with humble tears
oh I would be poured out till nothing's left.
and I just wanna wait on You my God
I just wanna dwell on who You are, who You are

Beautiful, beautiful oh I am lost for more to say
beautiful, beautiful oh Lord, You're beautiful to me

oh Lord You're beautiful, beautiful beautiful
holy holy holy You are You are
holy holy holy You are You are
holy holy holy You are You are
holy holy holy You are You are

beautiful, beautiful oh I am lost for more to say
beautiful, beautiful oh Lord, You're beautiful to me

and I just wanna wait on You my God
I just wanna dwell on who You are.

God wants to kill the leader in you (Part 1)

Leadership is a highly valued skill in the world today. It has also become the no. 1 ‘spiritual’ gift in churches and Christian organizations today. We use many arguments to justify leadership in churches. We even pad them with scripture so that no one would dare question the wisdom of having leaders without the risk of being called a modern day heretic. You can easily obtain any amount of literature on this topic from both secular and Christian bookstores. Add conferences, seminars, workshops and over a period of time, what you get is a strongly embedded mindset that staunchly believes leaders are a vital part of Christian faith and living.

By leaders, I mean senior pastors, associate pastors, ministry leaders, zone leaders, cell leaders, elders, deacons or by whatever name they are called; the people elected, voted, appointed, anointed, ordained or by whatever way they were chosen for the purpose of leading, overseeing, governing, mentoring, preaching, ministering, directing, counselling or advising you on the practicum of your Christian faith.

I am sure you’ve heard these comments at one time or another.
 If there's no leader, people will be left to their own devices.
 Without a chain of command, there won’t be transparency and accountability.
 The New Testament had leaders and elders, so it is biblical to appoint them.
 Jesus appointed leaders so we need to appoint leaders too.
 God is a god of order and leadership creates order.
 Someone has to be in charge so that we can be more effective as a church.
 A leader provides vision and the bible says without vision people perish.
 Church growth depends on effective and efficient leadership.
 Leaders have the God given mandate to lead and govern the church.

But none of the above can be substantiated by the Word of God.

Leadership junkies will argue that Jesus was the ultimate leader. However, I would like to invite you to take a look at Jesus' life, and perhaps you will begin to see what I saw.

By his own admission, Jesus said and did only what His Father told him to do. I am sure you know this already but do you really?

Jesus, the Obedient Son
Jesus was the epitome of obedience. He bowed his will to the One he called Father. Everything he did was in deference to God. He did not do things because they were moral and ethical. He was not drawn to pursue noble and charitable causes. His ‘meat’ was to accomplish His Father’s Will. He did nothing in his own strength or wisdom. He did not lean on any man because he knew what was in their hearts. He did not make use of charisma, charm or exert human influence on the multitudes that followed Him everywhere. In humility and obedience, he surrendered to the One above. Jesus refused to take the lead in his life events. He did not allow anyone to influence, guide or sway Him on His path. God the Father was in charge of Jesus’ life.

Jesus didn’t believe in plurality of leaders.
Take a moment to consider the wedding at Cana when Mary, His mother, told him that the wine had run out. He asked her, “Woman, why do you involve me? My time has not yet come.” He changed water into wine that day, but the conversation with His mother stands to safeguard his testimony that Jesus only ever did what His Father in heaven told him to do. Doing what His mother asked Him to do even for that one isolated incident would have jeopardised it.

Jesus wasn’t a team player.
Jesus spent a lot of time with his disciples but He did not take their advice or check with them for anything. He didn’t consult a committee or panel to discuss the next best plan of action. Nothing was done out of consensus, concession or careful corroboration.

Jesus didn't need to be authorized to do anything.
James and John’s mother asked Jesus to give her sons the privilege of sitting on his left and his right in eternity. Jesus’ reply was that it wasn’t up to Him but to His Father to decide who deserves what. When the disciples wanted to know when the signs He told them about would take place, He said he did not have full knowledge of future events, things that only His Father knew but had kept from Him.

That isn’t the same as saying He had no authority. On the contrary, Jesus had plenty of the supernatural kind. He had authority to forgive sin, heal the sick, cleanse the lepers and feed the hungry multitudes. Demons and Death could not refuse Him. He had authority over nature too - calming the raging seas and even walking on water. The common folk could see that Jesus had real authority as opposed to the scribes of His day. Jesus had authority over all things, and this authority came directly from God because Jesus was completely submitted to His Father in each and every aspect of His life. Jesus could boldly say, “If you’ve seen me, you’ve seen the Father.”

Authority is not a free license.
Jesus was never presumptuous – putting God to the test by doing what He presumed was right. Jesus’ authority was not a license to do as He pleased but a trust earned with every step of obedience He took. God the Father was pleased with Him and twice announced it from the heavens, “This is my Beloved Son in whom I am well pleased.” Jesus proved He was God’s son when He proved His obedience.

Jesus redefined the meaning of leadership.
Jesus said, “If you want to be great in God’s kingdom, learn to be the servant of all”. Just as the most influential and powerful leader in the world receives the greatest honour; in God’s kingdom, it is the meekest and lowliest servant that commands the greatest respect. God’s kingdom is the reverse of every earthly kingdom structure known to man. Jesus said, “I did not come to be served but to serve and to give my life as a ransom for many.” Chew on that for a minute.

Jesus knew this path of submission would ultimately lead Him to a bloody cross. In Gethsemane’s garden, He fervently prayed to be spared but left it to His Father to choose for Him. And you know how the story goes.

This is a great mystery to both the religious and intellectual minds.
The Pharisees could not understand why this self-proclaiming Messiah refused to conform to their time-honored religion. Why did He insist on healing on the Sabbath day? Why didn’t He observe their rites and ceremonies? They wanted His submission but He constantly disappointed them. To the learned Greeks (during Paul’s time) the cross was a foolish mistake. It spelt failure and disappointment. How could Jesus be the Saviour when He could not save Himself? But it wasn’t that Jesus could not save himself; it was because He would not. Muslims believe in submission to God. The word Muslim itself means one who submits. Yet, they cannot comprehend why God would allow Jesus to die an unjust death. Submission means different things to different people, but Jesus did not pander to human perceptions.

Jesus submitted to no one but His Father in Heaven and it pleased God very much.
Do you think God has entrusted his flock to hirelings? Never! He gave us into the safekeeping of the One who is completely worthy of His Trust – His Son, The Good Shepherd; the One who gave his own life for his sheep. I am sorry to say that the sheep in today’s churches are busy giving their time, their money and their energy to serve the ‘hirelings’ and their personal agenda. They have submitted too… unfortunately to a lesser cause and to lesser men.

For all the names given to Jesus in the Bible, you won’t find one that says Jesus the Great Leader. Isaiah devoted an entire chapter to the Suffering Servant. John the Baptist called Him the Lamb of God. Peter and the disciples confessed He was the Son of the Living God.

His Holiness

The religion of man is flawed, but the Way of God is perfect.

The doctrine of man is defective, but the Truth of God is perfect.

The speech of man is unreliable, but the Word of God is perfect.

The understanding of man is incomplete, but the Knowledge of God is perfect.

The intelligence of man is inadequate, but the Wisdom of God is perfect.

The ability of man is limited, but the Strength of God is perfect.

The compassion of man is lacking, but the Love of God is perfect.

Our earthly fathers are not without fault, but our Father in Heaven is perfect.

Men of God are fallible, but Jesus the Son of God is perfect.

No Bride of Frankestein

The Genesis account tells us that unlike all of God’s creations there was no suitable match for Adam, so God put him in a deep sleep, extracted a rib from his side and formed Eve. When God presented Eve to Adam, Adam declared her to be, “Flesh of my flesh, bone of my bone”. It would seem that Adam instantly recognised her to be his ideal mate. This enchanting phrase has found its way into many wedding ceremonies and love songs to demonstrate the ideal compatibility of a couple in love.

Jesus, who the bible calls the second Adam, is coming back for an ideal Bride. The bible says the church is his bride. However, when we look at the church today, we ask how that is possible. She is too fragmented and divided, not to mention the umpteen skeletons she has hidden away in her closet. There has been no lack of efforts to unify and solidify the different parts, more so in this century than before. Imagine if we fused all the various groups together into a single composite. What would it look like? The result could only be the ideal bride for Frankenstein. A monster haphazardly held together by bolts, nuts, wire and glue. But the Bride of Christ is not the design of a mad scientist. Our Father in heaven is perfect as His Son is perfect and so the Bride should be too.

Jesus prayed that we would be one even as He and the Father are One. That oneness speaks of more than holding hands in agreement and begging to differ on dodgy subjects. Jesus could boldly say, if you’ve seen me, you’ve seen the Father. Can we honestly say to the world, if you’ve seen the church, you’ve seen Jesus? Some may say, we are not there yet, still a work in progress. Some may say, we will never be, so just focus on the positive aspect of church. In truth, many books and messages have shifted from showing us how to be holy to how we can be united in purpose and principles. We imply that Jesus’ prayer in John’s gospel is a possibility if we can come together in harmony. In doing so, we hope to come closer to attaining God’s dream church. But each time we try to take a step closer to that dream, it remains elusive and always just beyond our reach.

How then can we achieve perfection given the jarring incompatibilities of Bride and Bridegroom?

I have serious doubts about the institutions we are building and growing in Christ’ name. But there is a church that Jesus Himself is building. One that we are not readily aware of. God is grafting into the person of His Son, individuals who have consecrated their lives to Him. Surrendered their mind and will, died to their dreams and aspirations and awoken to a holy and divine purpose. They have chosen to identify with Jesus, to follow Him all the way in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse. God took Eve out of Adam and in the same way, God is using those who are in His Son to fashion a worthy Bride, a mate who is compatible to Him in every way.

Who is this Bride? What is she like? I believe this is an apt description of the Bride of Christ.

The Bride has eyes only for her bridegroom. She is consumed with knowing him and being known of Him. Nothing and nobody can stand in the way of her devotion to Him. She revels in His presence and waits patiently for Him. She knows His voice and longs to hear Him speak. She meditates on each revelation of His person. She is unafraid of persecution; embracing suffering because it helps her identify with Him more. She doesn’t question His way for she trusts the wisdom and insight of her Lover. She does nothing apart from Him. Wherever He goes, she follows. She loves what He loves. She approves what He approves. She abhors what He abhors. She desires what He desires. There is no middle ground, no give and take, no need for compromise. There is no place for struggle or strive. She simply submits and surrenders to His love till the tiniest blemish dissipates, until she becomes the crystal clear reflection of His holiness. Her wretchedness, poverty, ignorance and weakness melting away as His Spirit infuses her with his beauty, riches, wisdom and strength from the secret place of their intimacy. 

Do you recognise the scriptural truth in what I’ve written?

And the two shall become one.

Jesus will look at His perfect Bride and with the same awe that filled Adam, He will say, “She is flesh of my flesh and bone of my bones!”

Revelation tells us the letters to the churches in Asia were written to admonish a bride estranged from her true bridegroom. Today she is in the same poor state. She has lost her first love. She is self-reliant. She is deprived. She is wretched. She is deceived. She is indifferent. She is blind. She is lost. And until she wakes up to the truth, how can she know what she’s missing?

You cannot be his bride unless you are truly one with Him. You cannot substitute intimacy with good deeds, charity or hard work. You cannot try to produce that transformation by modifying your behaviour, by tithing your money, by faithful service or by committing to a time, place and programme. That’s like having an outward makeover without an inward change. It’s unnatural and it won’t last. The fruit that Jesus is looking for is birthed out of an open and honest relationship with Him. Remain in Him and He will remain in you. Love Him and obey Him. Nothing else will produce fruit that endures.

Anorexic Christians

Yesterday, I had a two hour conversation that went nowhere. Interesting because the man I was speaking to had left ‘church’ some 15 years ago. I’d assumed that since both of us were on a similar journey that we would have much to share. I realised I had been mistaken.

A question as simple as, “What do you do in your free time?” invited an effusive explanation of how unconventional and controversial he was in his understanding of God and His ways. In the course of our conversation, he said he didn’t need to read the Bible because he could hear directly from God. (He admitted he’d read it about 3 times in the entire 50 some years of his life.) When I shared that I felt I needed to read the gospels again, he became uncomfortable. He then told me to respect him because he had left religion and church much earlier than I did and therefore was wiser. When I explained that I saw him as my equal, he was clearly uncomfortable and said so. At the end, he left saying I should ask God for confirmation that what he’d said was valid and true.

Many great men of God have given their lives to defend the written word we call the Bible. William Tyndale stands out in my mind. He was strangled and burnt at the stake because he would not bow to the religious order of his day. He wanted to give us a translation that was true and paid with his life. Martin Luther gave the people the Bible in their common language. When people began to read and understand the Word of God, there was a major revival.

John’s gospel calls Jesus the Word who existed with God from the very beginning. Jesus Himself often quoted from the writings of Moses and the prophets and explained them to his disciples. He overcame temptation with Scripture. The early apostles preached to the crowds using the Scriptures. The early believers stayed true to the teachings of the early apostles. The book of Revelation ends with a warning not to add or subtract from the testimony of John as given by God.

God speaks to us through His Son. His Son speaks to us through His Word. The late John McKay wrote that God’s Word is the expression of God’s Thought, revealed in His Son. Jesus rebuked the Jewish leaders for reading the scriptures but rejecting Him whom the scriptures spoke about. This then brings me to this conclusion.

Reading the scriptures without a relationship with Jesus yields very little.
Having a relationship with Jesus without reading the scripture also yields very little.

To say that God speaks to us through the bible only when we are infants but discards it to speak to us directly is unthinkable. To say we have read it before and therefore don’t need to read it again is pure arrogance and ingratitude.

Psalm 1
But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither, whatever he does prospers.

Many churches will teach you a formula. But you can follow it and still remain as ignorant as ever. So I won’t tell you to do that.

I will tell you to read the scriptures, bind it to your mind and to your heart. Read it, chew on it, digest it and ask the Holy Spirit to make it clear to you. He is the best tutor! If you have no time to read, then listen to it. The moment we think we can dispense with it, we are in danger of starving to death spiritually. Don’t believe everything from the pulpit just because it is coming out of the pastor’s mouth. A speaker once said that Christians are the only people who will believe something they have never read for themselves. How pathetic is that?

Build on the foundation of Christ’ words. Anything else is flimsy and weak. If you think you don’t need to read the Word of God, try not eating for a day. See how long you last. What kind of Christians will we be if we can go for months and years without spiritual nourishment?

Man does not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.

Every word means all of His words. Ancient authors penned words that are still relevant to us today. They can never be redundant. Jesus said, “Heaven and earth will pass away but my words will never pass away.”

In many bibles, the words of Jesus are highlighted in red for easy reference. Do you know them? Can you quote them? Do you understand them? More importantly, do you obey them?

Or are you an anorexic Christian?

The Amazing Properties of God's Word

God's Word

Washes and cleanses us from all unrighteousness

Keeps us from sinning against Him

Convicts us of sin and leads us to repentance

Transforms us by renewing our mind

Pierces our darkness and brings enlightenment

Brings clarity to our mind and drives out confusion

Speaks the truth and exposes every false way

Frees us to walk in liberty

Increases our faith and dispels doubt

Instills courage and casts out fear

Guides and directs our way

Comforts and counsels us according to His will

Tests and proves what we believe

Purifies and refines our character

Heals us and makes us whole

When you read the gospels, you will find that whenever Jesus spoke, amazing things happened. Sinners were forgiven, demons fled, blind could see, lame could walk, lepers were cleansed, hungry were fed, dead came alive, raging seas became calm, hypocrisy was exposed, children were blessed, etc.

This Jesus, who is the Word become flesh or the Living Word, still speaks to us today.

Listen to Him.

Doubt

I watched this movie 3 times in 2 days. Awesome! Because it was originally written for the stage, it has a solid dialogue and the 3 principal actors Meryl Streep, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Amy Adams did much justice to it.

It was weird, the way my friends and I each digested the story. I processed it mainly through the experience I've had in my many years (7 of them full time) serving in 'church'.

I understood the wide-eyed innocence of the novice nun (Sr. James) who believes the best in people. She was the person I used to be. But when I looked at the older but wiser nun (Sr. Aloysius) who has had years of experience to figure out that people are not really who they say they are, I recognised the person I had become.

In the final part, where Sr. Aloysius says, "I have such doubts!" I had a flashback to the time I discovered that 'church' as we know it is only a man made institution. I realised that I had been trying to reconcile Christ's body and the 'church' to no avail because they can never truly be one.

You reform, revise and improvise but the changes do not last. The old nun had no doubts about the priest (Fr. Flynn). He was well and truly guilty. But she could no longer believe or defend an institution that blatantly condoned, covered and even rewarded her so-called 'Christ' representatives.

The Rose

I bought a CD of timeless love songs and can't get enough of it! This song is beautiful!

The Rose
Some say love, it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
That leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love, it is a flower
And you, its only seed

It's the heart, afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream, afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul, afraid of dying
That never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snow
Lies the seed
That with the sun's love, in the spring
Becomes the rose

(a song sung by Bette Midler)

Nearly famous

I googled my name the other day and discovered I am Russian born, a vocalist/pianist/songwriter with a number of noteworthy music awards to my name. My photo reveals that I am quite attractive - a youngish blonde with sultry good looks.

I also found my name on cemetery lists and family trees. It appears I expired in 1872, in 1908 and again in 1933 and was dearly missed after having lived a lifetime as somebody's daughter, wife or mother.

Honestly? The only thing i share in common with these people is my name.

So just who am I?

It's hard to say.

I have lived too long and too well to fit neatly into a single adjective or sentence. And still after so many years, the quintessential me is still emerging. Just when I think I have arrived, I find I have merely reached one of the many milestones in my life. In my humble opinion, my life is as ordinary as my looks and my achievements less than average. I know I have just described a large majority of the human population but do you know what ? I have yet to come across another me!

Like many people, I am still in the process of self-discovery - God's work in progress. Like an onion, I have shed many layers of self in agitation and tears. Knowing I am unconditionally loved by God has helped to ease much of the discomfort that comes with that painful process. In spite of all that I have been through, I can still say I have no regrets for choosing the straight and narrow path of walking with Jesus.

As simple and straightforward as I am, I find I am still somewhat an enigma of sorts to many people. Lately, I have had to accept that even the closest of friends haven't figured me out! So it looks like only God understands me and loves me as I am. Perhaps this is best...

I have tried to borrow words that may help to explain the person I have become.

Passionate - Because I have to connect emotionally with whatever or whoever I know.

Average - and proud of it!

Unequivocal - Its important to me that people say what they mean and mean what they say and I try hard to keep to that ideal. I really hate it when words are manipulated to use people or for personal gain.Curse words don't seem to have half the effect on me as untrue and flippant words do.

Love to Eat - What can I say? I can't apologize for being Malaysian! My friend calls me the Yellow pages when it comes to finding good food!I love to see people try my favourite foods and I love discovering new tastes too.

Inventive - Although I am a creature of habit, I do look for ways to break the monotony of routine and predictability. I must admit though, at times, I don't really look hard enough!I am such a couch potato, I can sit and watch the same movie even if I've seen it umpteen times!

Non-competitive - I dislike competition for a couple of reasons. It means someone has to lose. I hate that. Plus it's unnerving to be viewed as rival who must be eliminated. Having said that I am overcome with joy even a bit teary eyed at seeing someone win after they've worked so hard for it!

Teacher - I think the one quality that qualifies me to teach others is teachability! I am a little stupid, so when I make a discovery, I get all excited about it and I need to share! Consequently, I believe teaching is the process of aiding discovery! (I didn't come up with that one btw. Remember I'm just average!)

Humour - even this seemingly ordinary trait makes me different from others. Cause I love to laugh with people, not at them.

Genuinely happy for others - Strange but I must say, I can't remember being jealous and envious of others. I am genuinely happy for other people, my more successful siblings and friends. I have been overtaken many times in the race for success, recognition and reward but it does not seem to bother me. I guess the credit has to go to God. He's made me content with who I am and confident of the destiny He has for me.

Well, that's just a little bit about me.

I doubt all this would fit onto my tombstone so I have written it here!